As of 2022, The Pew Research Center found 30% of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner, nor engaged in a committed relationship. Additionally, 1/2 of young adults inthe U.S. are single. What the?! Why be in a relationship when you can, “hookup” with no expectations.Let's talk about hookup culture! What is hookup culture? Is this a healthy dynamic? Why is hookup culture popular in today's society? Are there negative effects engaging in this behavior; Does this behavior negatively impact women? My original intention was to answer these questions, in an effort to talk about hookup culture as part of a series of educational videos/posts during Domestic Violence Awareness month to raise awareness about healthy relationships but, time ran out. However, we can still have an honest discussion and continue the conversations about our current relationship climate that will help us understand the current trend of , "hooking up." I decided to talk about this topic because I am completely fascinated by the concept of, "no strings attached."
One day my daughter, who is twenty-one years old, and I were talking about relationships and how we both experience the same woes in dating. I am fourty-eight and not really confident about datingbecause men my age, that you think have matured and want stable relationships; actually want flaky, non-committal situationships. What I thought was behavior amongst young people, is actually a current culture invading all demographics, identities, and preferences. I am not here to judge but simply to present information to help people really have honest conversations with themselves about the reality of hook-up culture and if this is really going to bring you emotional satisfaction and comfort. Personally, for me, no. Have you ever listened to the Weeknd? I LOOOOOOOVVVVEEEE his music. My daughter took me to his concert last year and it was amazing. His music personifies hook-up culture. He honestly describes and reflects on his own behavior. He writes songs about drugs, casual sex and alienation. He describes his honest male experience and evolution. I feel like I'm drawn to his music because of his honesty and he uses language in his music to trigger honest feelings from his listeners. He's an intelligent artist. Some say he is the poet of "millennial sexual discontent." I encourage you to listen to his music and pay attention to his lyrics. I bring up the Weeknd's music not only because he sings about hook-up culture but, it's the direct result of where we are in society as a whole right now, immediate gratification.
So let's deep dive into my questions. What is hookup culture? Hookup culture is a behavioral framework that involves casual sex. There have been many studies done about this topic; however, most studies are reflective of college aged young adults. Current research suggests that dating in the 21 st century has morphed into "hookups" and non-committal encounters. The emergence of dating apps elevates the engagement. One of the largest studies done on hookup culture came out of Crimson University. However, the latest reports indicate 60-80% of college students report participating in hookups at least once (Gitnux Market Data Report 2023). This number doesn't surprise me for the age group but, I am learning that the culture does not age discriminate. I am noticing that in men my age, many because of past negative experiences in relationships, choose non-committal situations in an effort to avoid complications. Avoidance seems easier than healing.
That leads to another question...why do people engage in hooking up? Well, for the following reasons:
1. Mostly common in youth, constantly searching for autonomy. There is power in having control of your body.
2. A way to explore your sexuality on your terms ( if your are honest with yourself).
3. Some use hookups as a way to try to control feelings or self-esteem.
4. Some look at their current timeline and assess whether relationships are important and if they want to deal with a breakup.
5. Finally, there are some people that have issues with vulnerability or past unresolved trauma and think hookups are a solution.
These are only some reasons, but the most influential to me. So looking at the possible reasons for engaging in hookups leads me to ask the next question...So are there negative effects from engaging in this dynamic? Yes. So how? Well, to begin, you can have "hookup regrets". For consenting participants, immediately after the encounter are you questioning your decision or if this is actually good for you? Are you feeling embarrassed or ashamed? My dear, if you answered yes to any or all of the refections, you maybe feeling regret. Additionally, there is sexual risk when you engage in 'hookups". There are other noted behaviors that describe a "hookup", i.e petting, groping, making out, but I am talking about sexual intercourse. Please let's just call it what it is. Research indicates that less than 1/2 use protection. I guess the key to limiting negative effects is being honest with yourself and your motivations. Ask yourself if you are in a healthy mindset to engage in casual sex. Are you feeling societal pressure because of the prevalence? Do you think you have to participate in this behavior because that is all that is offered in the current culture? This is a good segway to answer the last question: Does hooking up negatively impact women?
I talk about women because violence against women is globally prevalent. 1/3 women have been subjected to physical and/or sexual violence at least once in their life ( WHO 2021). Yes, hooking-up can negatively impact women. Especially because women are more susceptible to objectification and sexual assault. For this reason, I strongly want to address consent. Consent should exist in any type of sexual activity. Consent and safety still needs to exist in casual hookups. I also suggest understanding the red flags of abuse and that they can apply to "hookups" as well. Also, note that it is ok to set healthy boundaries in any type of relationship which include but not limited to identifying what the "hookup" looks like before, during, and after. This includes a mental and physical description. I will link important information about consent below.
In conclusion, I encourage people to make safe and healthy choices to help facilitate wellness. I offer thought provoking material to open your minds to information that will encourage growth. Our society tends to get stuck in mindsets that do not help us grow. We are a society of change and embracing new fresh perspectives can help facilitate healthier mindsets. My posts are meant to open our mind and hearts to honest conversations. Look, hooking up is nothing new; it's just a current reflection of the time we live in. Is it for you? I ask you to be honest with yourself when considering hookups. Also, I ask you to love yourself first. If you put yourself first, then the regrets, doubts and risk disappear. Again, always make sure your encounters are consensual and safe. When it comes to hookups, I guess the takeaway from this post is to think about your decision to engage, be honest in your communications with the other person(s), consider if you are truly in a good mental space to detach to the feelings that sometimes come along with sex. There is no consistent evidence that supports or is against hookup culture and no one agrees on the impact on individuals. Experts agree that your desire to hookup depends on your sociosexual orientation and exploration of your personal relationship goals. Are you going to join the cultural and sexual revolution? Honestly?
The Victim Assistant. Visit my linktree. Get to know me and listen to my podcast: The Victim Assistant, I talk about crime and victimization. https://linktr.ee/thevictimassistant?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=93454465-4a34-4e00-867f-e30228cd8e93
The Weeknd music breakdown:
https://youtu.be/Wng60I_a8h4?si=rFajrebEdRLOVaGs
Consent information: https://www.rainn.org/
Hookup culture data:https://blog.gitnux.com/hookup-culture-statistics/
Comments
Post a Comment