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The performance of being "nice"..

Today, I am going to give a brief tutorial on being "kind" vs. being "nice". I want people to consider the fact that being "nice" isn't good enough. 

I grew up with knowing there is a huge difference between nice and being a kind person. Being, "Kind" is the ideal way to conduct yourself. To me, kindness is about connections; making positive connections with people with the idea of being genuine and thoughtful. Kindness involves vulnerability. However, some people have trouble with authenticity and being vulnerable. We live in a society of immediate gratification, fake people, insecurity, and false expectations and desires. People choose to align with what is easy instead of what is right! For this reason, people choose to be, "nice". Being "nice" is not enough.

There is complexity to these terms. So let's talk about the differences between being, "nice" and "kind". Nice is a social mask that people wear to interact with others. Kindness has more depth. Kindness is selfless, pure, and genuine. When you choose to be kind, you are acting in a way you are open to others. Kindness is a heart centered behavior. Being heart centered; what does that mean? Being "heart-centered" means that you live with purpose and approach life from a place of inner strength, courage, integrity, and truth. I live my life expressing principles of love and compassion. I champion for others to heal their trauma and become more heart-centered. To me, your heart fuels everything; Without our heart we cannot live. When you are kind, you do not care about receiving anything back in return other than another's pure energy back. Kindness takes more effort and that is why some are satisfied with just being "Nice".

According to an article in Psychology Today, Robyn Hanley-Dafoe Ed.D. (March 8, 2023)Why Kindness Matters. Everyday Resilience., kindnesss has many benefits and boosts life satisfaction and physical and mental well-being. Kindness has a huge social impact; kindness is contagious. Kindness is a universal language that brings people together. So why not just be "kind"? 

Let's finish up this tutorial with answering that question, "Why not just be "kind"? Like I said earlier, kindness takes more effort and it is a heart-centered behavior. A lot of people do not have love for self so they do not have anything to give to others so wearing the "nice" social mask works for them. Its a sad reality but I do not shy away from speaking the honest truth. "Nice' is not a negative thing; it depends on a person's intentions. People's life experiences dictate how they treat others in the world. If you are struggling and have no coping skills; well, then you might not have it in you at the time to be kind. All it takes is for someone to show you pure kindness in your moment of need to hopefully turn you onto kindness. Who knows? I do know that I choose kindness and authenticity and sometimes that irritates other people's demons. Being human, sometimes I find it hard to be kind to those that are threatened by my light and do not take care of themselves. I cannot let negative people change my perspective about how I chose to walk through this world; with a kind heart and free spirit. I recommend you keep your heart open to receiving the kindness that people have to offer. 

Remember, some people will mistake your kindness for weakness. Just know that even kind people are allowed to set boundaries and tell those people to “f’off” if needed.. If you are finding it hard to be kind, then I would take a hard look at self and determine what needs healing. So, with that said, I hope you choose kindness and like Paddington the Bear said, "It doesn't cost me anything to be kind." 



The Victim Assistant- Peace, Love and Happiness

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Related Resources/Articles:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-resilience/202303/the-remarkable-power-of-kindness-and-why-it-matters


Image: reneebigelow@pixibay

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