Recently, I decided to start providing professional support to people that want to transform their lives through the practice of self-love. Throughout the years, I have worked with victims of violent crime, trauma survivors, and their families get through their victimization and the process of the criminal justice system. I have counseled thousands of people and realized that people are often conditioned to hold on to their trauma and pain. People hold on to pain out of fear or obligation. Because of this realization, I found that the practice of self-love is important to heal trauma and past pain. It is an ultimate act of self-love to begin the healing process with analyzing what is present in your life that keeps you from emotional fulfillment and peace. We all deserve peace, love and true happiness in our lives; we are worthy. Letting go of what doesn't serve you is not a "new age" phrase or a trend; it's common sense. What holds us back from emotional maturity, inner peace, growth, healing, and moving on should be released. Removing these obstacles will liberate us and allow for a new path of positive experiences to appear. Through my own healing journey, I have mastered letting go. I want to share my strength with you because, not everyone maneuvers through the healing process the same. I am the Bruce Lee of letting go; I kick butt in this arena. In speaking to many crime victims, over a 20 year period, I have come to realize that humans hold on to pain because it's comfortable and we constantly have to be in control of our emotions. No one wants to open pandora's box of pain and actually have to express and own emotions so we hold them in and suffer in silence. I'm here to tell you you don't have to. My life completely changed when I let go; I freed myself of burdens and negative emotions to become who I was meant to be. First, there is an evaluation stage asking what prevents you and then the action stage. Here's how to start the process:
Identify what:
Takes your energy. What drains you emotionally, mentally and physically. Who or what in your life causes self-doubt? Are there one-sided relationships that serve no real purpose but you are in them out of obligation? For me, I realized it was toxic family and negative attachments. This step is very important and takes reflection. To help me understand what was draining me, I kept a journal and began writing down who stole my peace and my reactions or how I felt around these people in their absense. This step brings about a lot of self- awareness and often highlighted what I may have done wrong in my behavior. Enlightening.
Creates self-limiting thoughts. What is holding me back from letting go? I'm now talking about emotions, thoughts and the non-physical. Insecurities?
Nourishes you. What gives you comfort and peace? What do you need more of in life to encourage healing and growth? These things or people should be your new focus.
Then, after figuring out the above, ask yourself, "How to detach?" This is the action stage of your "letting go" journey. How can I release what no longer serves me so I feel safe and protected? The actions that you take requires time and sensitivity and maybe even uncomfortable conversations with people that you feel you need to let go of. Journaling through these stages is important so you can process honest thoughts and feelings about your actions. The actions you take should always align with your greatest good, what is best for you. Whatever you decide to let go of is your decision because, it's your life and your peace. For example, if you came to the conclusion that you need to let go of toxic friends or family then an action can be to have honest conversations with them, set healthy boundaries, or start distancing yourself slowly. Your actions may create unpleasant feelings like guilt, remorse, uncertainty and practicing self-care during this time will help you with healthy decision making and prevent you from relapsing back into old patterns or cycles that don't serve you.
The process of letting go is strategic and requires time and sensitivity. The process may involve periods of relapse or indecisiveness. I think the biggest realization through the process of letting go is knowing your worth. When you realize your value as a person, you understand what you deserve and that is reciprocity in relationships, healthy confidence and self-esteem, and knowing that life is too short to not live the life that brings you peace, love and happiness. For this reason, I dedicate my time to help people cultivate more self-love into their life. The love you show yourself is what you get back. Remember this is a process in your healing journey and requires a lot of thought, reflection, and dedication to your wellbeing. Letting go requires you to be honest with yourself and sometimes others.
One final thought, if you come to the realization that you need to let go of significant people in your life, then do understand there are options. If your choice is to cut communication with no warning that is NOT ghosting. Ghosting is an unhealthy, emotionally immature action by abruptly ending communication with someone without explanation because of dishonest intentions. The term most commonly used in intimate partner or dating relationships. Ghosting does not apply to situations where you are letting go of toxic people because your intentions are out of love for yourself. The difference is quite clear so don't let people misuse that word or apply it to your act of self love. It's always more beneficial to have honest conversations with people that hurt you but may not be good for those who were victims of abuse or a violent crime. You owe it to yourself to do what's best for you, live your life on your terms with the people that make you the happiest, and to be in the best state of mind. Let it hurt. Then, let it go. -r.h.sin
The Victim Assistant- Peace, Love and Happiness
Do you need to cultivate more self-love into your life? Work with me 1:1, in my 90 day empowerment coaching program or hourly consultation now available. Learn to heal and grow through the practice of self-love. Establish healthy, life changing habits. I offer a 90 day program or hourly consulting. Hourly consulting email me.
Let’s connect. Remember to follow and subscribe to my social media and my podcast: The Victim Assistant. All links ⬇️
https://linktr.ee/thevictimassistant
Questions. Love to hear from you; email me :thevictimassistant@gmail.com
Resources:
Mental health- https://www.mentalhealth.gov/
Comments
Post a Comment