The Victim Assistant 🐼

 "Everything in life is vibration." -Albert Einstein. Einstein taught us that everything is made up of energy which vibrates at a different frequency. I'm not a science girl, but I do have a general understanding of physics and that everything in the universe is made up of molecules that vibrates at different speeds. Not only are human vibrations composed of physical matter but also exist in thoughts. Certain emotions and thought patterns, associated with positivity and growth, create a higher frequency vibration (joy, happiness, kindness) and so goes the latter; emotions like anger, fear, and envy vibrate at a lower frequency. Recently, I felt that I have stepped into my power and have raised my vibration through healing past pain and trauma. I am sitting in the position of self-awareness. Self-awareness is being conscious of one's own character, feelings, motives and desires. It feels good, and I feel a sense of newness in my life. I want to share with you how to ra...

 I get emails from people across the country wanting my advice on abuse, resources and just general support. I have shared my personal, professional experiences and expertise; many ask me, "How do you do it?" Victims of crime, specifically, want to know how I am able to be positive and come out the other side with my head up. The answer is I go within. I am honest with myself and I have always been emotionally mature. This maturity comes from my childhood.  Through spending time going within and past therapy, I have learned that my issues stemmed from not being given the love parents should give their child. My trauma is abandonment. Prior to today, the last time that I felt truly happy was when I was eight years old. I have a picture of me at eight in my multi-colored swimsuit with my hair braided by my beloved grandmother. I look at that picture all the time and tell her to keep her head up. I realized at a very young age that I was different. I always felt like I was older...

 It's that time again to explore innovative self-care practices that assists crime victims in their healing journey. This information on honoring your intuition is great for anyone that finds themselves encountering that reoccurring feeling in decision making. When we go through our day managing life and making decisions, we sometimes have that sudden hunch, gut feeling, or suspicion about something we are thinking about. What do you do? Do you listen, feel, observe? Do you ignore? Everyone has intuition but we all don't honor or listen to it. Our intuition often gets ignored because it is not considered logical. We often ask, " How can I make a decision or listen to a feeling if it's not based on fact? In order to understand our intuition let's first explore the concept. What is intuition? Honoring your intuition is the ability to understand something immediately without the need for conscious reasoning. Your intuition consists of those unconscious hunches and gut...

 This weekend, I was talking to my friend who was checking in on me. She asked me if I've been putting myself out there. I laughed and asked her what she meant? She said, “You know what I mean.”.....Oh dating? Umm, not as much as I should was my overall answer to her. I'm slightly reserved and very careful due to this pandemic; I'm not keen on the options I've been given. I don't know who's responsible for the choices I've been presented with but, come on. I put out good vibes into the world; I should get valuable options, not scrubs. Men tend to come at me with their rods on fire and not their heart. Excuse the expression but it's vulgarly called "devil di@k". Yea, I'm not interested in middle aged, mindless sex followed by juvenile, unhealthy behavior like ghosting. I want to date and get to know someone. I know that I've been out of the game for some time but, for the love, who the hell set this standard while I was benched in suburb...

 It's that time again for another round of innovative self-care practices. This time we will take one last look back at 2020 (Bye Felicia), in a lighthearted way, and the products that got me through the horrors of quarantine. From a self-care perspective, I am not the only female that was forced to let go of her beauty rituals. Not only did I have to alter my self-care routines, I had to reinvent them. Due to the constraints of COVID-19, many people lost their jobs and income for some time; many are still struggling. I even had to make significant changes and cutbacks in spending and scale down my lifestyle because my contract gigs were cancelled or rescheduled. These setbacks and social restraints led me to get real creative with my budget. My regular self-care regime involves hair and nails. So I want to talk about the three best beauty and fashion products out there that got me through quarantine.  Let's start with my nails. How many of us pay to go to the nail salon every...

 I recently wrote a blog post on how survivors of abuse can take back their power. I offered many suggestions including supporting yourself and empowerment. Part of honoring yourself is to hold others accountable for their actions towards you that created a loss in your life. One way to hold offenders accountable for their actions in the criminal justice process is to write a Victim Impact Statement (VIS) to the court. If you have been a victim of crime and involved in a criminal case, all fifty states allow Victim Impact Statements to be expressed at some point in the criminal justice process. Sometimes a Victim Impact Statement will be presented to the judge in a pre-sentence report, at sentencing, or at parole hearings. The most important impact of a Victim Impact Statement is the opportunity for victims to focus the attention to the cost of crime on human beings and allows victims a substantial part in the judicial process especially if the victim reads the statement to the cou...

Leaving a relationship and letting go of the connected past is undoubtedly difficult. Imagine what it would be like to leave an abusive relationship; a relationship riddled with power and control, fear, gaslighting, isolation, and sometimes physical abuse. Imagine the strength and courage it takes to make a decision that could have severe consequences. Once you evaluated the situation, sought professional advice, and executed the evacuation plan safely; how do you live your life free from abuse? It is so complicated and there is not one answer. Every situation is different and everyone's support systems and plans vary. The only constant is in the way we take back our power! Life after Domestic Violence means learning to take back your power. When I was going through my separation, I had a dear friend say something to me that I didn't realize I let go of. I was telling him about my situation and challenges.  I can't remember exactly what I said but his reply to my worry and ...