The Victim Assistant 🐼

 Have you ever asked yourself: Am I living my life to the fullest? Are there things about myself or life that I would like to change? These are all self-evaluation questions that are worthy of your attention; especially if you are feeling lack or uncertainty in your life. I definitely asked these questions a few years ago because, I was feeling very unfulfilled in my life and struggling to understand my place. Many times, as human beings living in the moment and as a coping mechanism, we put on a mask and pretend to be okay but hurting on the inside. Life requires balance and recognizing an imbalance is the beginning to discovering your full potential. Being the best version of yourself means being the authentic, "YOU." A trick to understanding your authentic self requires honesty about the things you are currently doing in your life that are creating unhappiness, uncertainty, negativity etc. You have to reflect on your shadow side (negative characteristics about your persona...

 Hi everyone. For years I’ve been sharing my healing journey, on my social media, and people ask me all the time if I provide professional consulting. Well, now I do. I feel compelled to set some time aside in 2022 to help people grow and develop because change is a beautiful thing. Check out my 90-day Empowerment Coaching Program and learn the tools that helped me develop and grow as a person. I utilize the seven pillars of self care as a guide to healthy change. My program is only available on Teachable.com. Look forward to working with you one on one. Peace, Love, and Happiness. The Victim Assistant https://va-s-empowerment-coaching.teachable.com/p/va-s-empowerment-coaching

I like to talk about my healing journey and offer support and hope to those that want to explore self love and healing trauma but don't know how. This post may not resonate for everyone but, I feel compelled to share my experience with healing generational trauma. As I sifted through my past and decisions, I can't help but feel like obligation and family expectations tainted my judgement. Do you feel that your family has unresolved trauma that is being passed down to generations? My answer to this question was yes. I have been on an emotional journey of healing and growth which has brought about many realizations and harsh truths about my ancestry. All my life, I have felt an inner knowing that I was made to stand out or for a big purpose; however, I never really felt supported or encouraged to growing up. I lacked stability and safety as a child. This inner knowing has sat with me all my life untapped. I started to ask myself the hard questions. When I first started to develop...

 In lieu of the R.Kelly trial, I have felt compelled to talk about victim blaming attitudes and belief systems as a debilitating cultural norm. I will specifically address violence against women in this post. Victim blaming occurs when a victim of crime is considered at fault or partially at fault for the harmful act against them. As a professional crime victim advocate, I have always felt it necessary to educate people about victimization and people's responses to crime to help mitigate the prejudice against victims and the perception from society that victims are some how responsible for the actions of  the violent offender. This happens a lot in sexual assault and domestic violence cases. We have witnessed, predominately in the R.Kelly trial, past and present, the perpetuation of rape culture and the normalized attitudes about gender and sexuality. Victim blaming, slut-shaming, minimizing rape and the denial of accountability of the offenders is the norm. Society bathes in ...

In my self-love journey, I have included exploring many ideals including vulnerability. Let's ask ourselves this question, "What does it mean to be vulnerable with another person?" In my experience, vulnerability is expressing your true self regardless of other's judgement. It's true bravery. Vulnerability seems to be the key to healthier interpersonal relationships. Vulnerability is difficult for some people because there is a level of honesty that is required and most often the struggle opening up your heart comes from fear; fear of judgement, the unknown, and ridicule. Fear is a valid emotion. Usually, we feel fear when we suspect danger ahead; however, fear derived from insecurity is no bueno. Trust in the other person is the secret sauce for opening up your soul. Trust is the confidence you place in someone to keep your thoughts and feelings private. Without trust, true intimacy in relationships cannot be achieved. For this reason, we see people struggle with...

 I will be 46 years old this month. I have had to reinvent myself numerous times in my life. Sometimes, I wonder how I did it and still remain positive and able to help others.  Giving to others gives me the strength and courage to persevere. Being in the giving profession has opened me up to a lot of different perspectives on life. It has also helped me realize that there needs to be balance in all relationships in life, reciprocity. Unfortunately, I am a sucker for energy vampires in my life. I draw them to me like moths to a flame. Through taking the time to heal past pain and trauma, I have realized that my achilles heal is abandonment. I gave to the wrong people and developed unhealthy relationships all because I did not realize my worth. We all have so much value no matter what we have been through. I tolerated a lot of b.s. and developed too much of a people pleasing attitude. Somewhere along the way I lost my voice.  It's funny because, I wasn't always like this. ...

 Recently, I have felt a positive shift in my life that indicates that I have closed out a chapter in my life that was very challenging, but at the same time brought me a lot of clarity. It's as if the challenges that I have continuously experienced in life, have made me a stronger person in preparation for my new life. I've had a lot of realizations, "A-ha", moments recently that brought me immense understanding about my life. A lot of these experiences were unnecessary hardships, because I have lived an unauthentic life. In reality, most people do unintentionally. Most people live by the rules, belief systems, and conventions forced on you by society or your family. For example, being raised in a particular religion that doesn't match your true self but you conform because that is what you are supposed to do. There is comfort and familiarity in following suit.  So you are forced to wear a false mask and blend into your circumstances and environment like a chamel...