The Victim Assistant 🐼

 It's that time again for another round of innovative self-care practices. This time we will take one last look back at 2020 (Bye Felicia), in a lighthearted way, and the products that got me through the horrors of quarantine. From a self-care perspective, I am not the only female that was forced to let go of her beauty rituals. Not only did I have to alter my self-care routines, I had to reinvent them. Due to the constraints of COVID-19, many people lost their jobs and income for some time; many are still struggling. I even had to make significant changes and cutbacks in spending and scale down my lifestyle because my contract gigs were cancelled or rescheduled. These setbacks and social restraints led me to get real creative with my budget. My regular self-care regime involves hair and nails. So I want to talk about the three best beauty and fashion products out there that got me through quarantine.  Let's start with my nails. How many of us pay to go to the nail salon every

 I recently wrote a blog post on how survivors of abuse can take back their power. I offered many suggestions including supporting yourself and empowerment. Part of honoring yourself is to hold others accountable for their actions towards you that created a loss in your life. One way to hold offenders accountable for their actions in the criminal justice process is to write a Victim Impact Statement (VIS) to the court. If you have been a victim of crime and involved in a criminal case, all fifty states allow Victim Impact Statements to be expressed at some point in the criminal justice process. Sometimes a Victim Impact Statement will be presented to the judge in a pre-sentence report, at sentencing, or at parole hearings. The most important impact of a Victim Impact Statement is the opportunity for victims to focus the attention to the cost of crime on human beings and allows victims a substantial part in the judicial process especially if the victim reads the statement to the court.

Leaving a relationship and letting go of the connected past is undoubtedly difficult. Imagine what it would be like to leave an abusive relationship; a relationship riddled with power and control, fear, gaslighting, isolation, and sometimes physical abuse. Imagine the strength and courage it takes to make a decision that could have severe consequences. Once you evaluated the situation, sought professional advice, and executed the evacuation plan safely; how do you live your life free from abuse? It is so complicated and there is not one answer. Every situation is different and everyone's support systems and plans vary. The only constant is in the way we take back our power! Life after Domestic Violence means learning to take back your power. When I was going through my separation, I had a dear friend say something to me that I didn't realize I let go of. I was telling him about my situation and challenges.  I can't remember exactly what I said but his reply to my worry and

 Hello everyone! It's that time again for another round of innovative self-care practices. For those new to my blog, in an effort to support crime victims through their healing, I often explore and offer information on self-care practices that are unique and can be done in conjunction with traditional therapy. This time let's explore Reiki healing. So like all alternative forms of thought, beliefs, and behaviors, let's open our minds and hearts to the spiritual method of energy healing, Reiki. Now, to be really honest, the jury is still out for me on this practice. Through my yoga and meditation practices, I have been learning more about this spiritual practice. According to reiki.org, Reiki is defined as a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement. I enjoy working on myself, so I felt compelled to explore the benefits and unveil the mystery behind this Japanese form of alternative medicine. Stay with me, this is going to throw you off if you

Yesterday, I vlogged about healthy eating which promotes your overall wellbeing and assists in the healing process. Through self discovery and growth, I started dedicating time to improving my health with yoga, meditation, exercise, and eating clean. These recipe shares are good, clean food that can feed your soul. I am not a vegan but I am inspired on occasion to cook compassionately. I also find simple recipes. I was a busy mom and I understand the demands on family, so I continue to share recipes that can be prepared in an hour or less. Here are some of my go to recipes: Vegan Crispy Cauliflower Wings https://veganheaven.org/recipe/cauliflower-hot-wings-with-vegan-aioli/ So, I don’t like the suggested Panko breadcrumbs, my friend makes gluten free, dairy free crumbs for me. 😄 That’s what I used. There are recipes on Pinterest for that and Whole Foods has a brand. Also, for a dipping sauce I used traditional blue cheese. The suggested sauces for vegans are dairy free aioli sauces

Yesterday, I decided to get in my VW bug and take a mini adventure. I drove to Sedona, Arizona and hiked Cathedral Rock. Cathedral Rock is considered one of Sedona’s spiritual vortexes. Spiritual vortexes are powerful and transformational energy centers. Sedona is known for them. The land surrounding the vortexes are often very beautiful and inspirational. Trees and rocks take different formations. The scenery is absolutely amazing. I felt so drawn to this hike for a long time. I just believe in my journey of self discovery, this was the perfect time to do it; despite the gross heat. Part of engaging in self-care during healing is to honor your needs. My inner self has been begging me to get out and do this and I would always talk myself out of it. It’s too hot, crowded, blah blah blah. In fact, all my excuses had no relevance because the trail was not crowded and the breeze kept me cool. If you feel adventure or the desire to do something, do it! Practicing self-care means honoring yo

Hello everyone, it's that time again to explore another innovative self-care practice that I find absolutely amazing and comforting. I am always ready to introduce healthy practices that can assist crime victims in their healing. We all know that there are numerous science-based (for doubters) benefits in practicing daily meditation; for example, reduces stress, anxiety, promotes emotional health and enhances self-awareness.  But, what if we consider exploring the inclusion of meditation music into your meditation and self-care routine? So what is meditation music specifically Solfeggio frequencies? When we talk about Solfeggio frequencies, we are dealing with vibration. Every vibration has it's own frequency. There are six main electromagnetic musical tones that the Gregorian Monks were said to use when they chanted in meditation. These frequencies are said to deeply penetrate the conscious and subconscious mind and stimulate inner healing.  In addition, the tones are comprise

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Wrong place, wrong time?" Forty years ago crime victims, especially sexual assault victims, were viewed as passive targets. There were a lot of societal views that placed responsibility and shame on crime victims. This weekend, I watched three episodes of a documentary on HBO, I'll Be Gone In The Dark. This documentary chronicles the East Area Rapist in the seventies and eighties, later identified as the Golden State Killer, and is based on a true crime book by Michelle McNamara. This documentary highlighted what was absent in crime fighting forty years ago: cooperation, inclusiveness, equality, compassion, and understanding of victimization. I'm a crime story buff; however, I was specifically drawn to the interviews and experiences of the survivors. I listened to survivors share their pain, trauma, and secondary victimization. Secondary victimization refers to "victim-blaming" and behaviors that members of society engage i

On the eve of our country's independence day, I write this. Reading about people using racial injustice and the misfortunes of others to commit crimes, destroy statues or learning about young adults purposely challenging each other on social media to infect each other with COVID-19 makes me question humanity.  I feel the need to reflect and question our societal plight, poor condition, and instability. No better time than now to think about our pursuit of happiness. It leads me to ask the question, Where the f*ck is humanity? Did someone lock humanity up in a closet somewhere? YO, let humanity out please! Have we completely lost our minds? The human race is mankind; the understanding and kindness towards other people. Where is benevolence? Where are our qualities that make us human: love, compassion, and understanding towards others? As a collective, we have completely lost touch with humanity. Instead, we have become a culture of selfishness, malevolence, brutality and hostility.

Do you sometimes feel out of sorts, grouchy, out of balance, or in a funk? Life brings us challenges and stressors that cause our bodies to react and sometimes hold on to energy. Yes, we are made up of energy and sometimes that energy gets backed up like a dirty drain. As part of my self-care series on innovative practices, I want to introduce you all to chakra cleansing and energy release or clearing.   Let's be open- minded right now and consider that we do in fact have energy bundles throughout our bodies called, Chakras. Formally, chakras are swirling wheels of energy where the physical and consciousness meet. This energy is called Prana, the vital life force which keeps us vibrant, healthy, and alive ( https://www.holisticharmonyhealth.com/blog/view/what-are-chakras ). There are seven chakras and each chakra corresponds to certain nerve centers and organs in the body. The ideal for inner peace and health is to make sure that all chakras are aligned and open. The practice of yo

Here are my selections for the best websites to support crime victims. Watch my video on Vimeo link below. The Victim Assistant- Always Advocating..... https://vimeo.com/426809213

Last week, I released my latest episode of The Victim Assistant Podcast and I talked about the option of letting go of toxic people, relationships and beliefs. So, I wanted to recap the discussion and add to it.  I was raised to honor and respect each other and accept people for who they are especially family. The struggles that I have recently experienced in my life has made me reflect on the art of letting go of people who no longer serve me in a positive way. When you have significant life changes occurring at once, you are forced to re-evaluate your life. I realized that right now we are getting a planetary reset with this global pandemic. We were forced to reflect, isolate, and make change for everyone's greatest good. For me, I'm valuing myself more and honoring my truth because life is too short. My truth has always been silent and part of that truth is that I no longer want to hold on to not only people, but beliefs that no longer serve me. A lot of these beliefs I'

This fall I became an empty nester and my daughter went off to college leaving me with a lot of emptiness because my whole life has been about her development, safety and care. When you focused most of your time on your family, it's hard to adjust your priorities in your life because it's so customary. I noticed that our relationship was changing and how you handle the changes determines whether there is growth or a fixed mindset. It was a challenge raising a daughter in this world of judgement, conflict and disillusion. There are so many obstacles to conquer in parenthood and it's especially hard when your partner is not on the same page. As a family, we had to address many disagreements and in this time in our daughter's life, I didn’t want to argue. There is so much more to argue about with young adults. I wanted us to go into the next stage of her life all of us being a team. You cannot go backwards and live in the past. When you start planning a family or picking p

Are you practicing self care? If you are living the human experience and going through the ups and downs of life without self care practices than you should reconsider. Life can be stressful at times and even more challenging if we've experienced any form of victimization or trauma. Recently, I have experienced many life challenges: breakup of a 20 year relationship, starting over and reinventing myself, becoming an empty nester and being alone again. In the past year, I have had to release a lot of old patterns and remove toxic people and relationships that no longer serve me. I have come to know a more spiritual side of myself that I either didn't recognize or buried because my role in life was always supportive. I mastered a lot in my life but now I am living my truth and open for new love and opportunities if they present themselves. A few years ago, I was drawn to yoga. The pract ice of yoga and mediation combined has really helped me gain balance and stability. Yoga is a