The Victim Assistant 🐼

 Here we are in a time of humanity where EVERYONE, place and thing is being questioned. The term deepfake generally refers to false images, videos, or audio that have been manipulated by AI; however, for the purpose of this post, I am using the term to refer to "fake people." If you built an empire on false foundations, wear a seedy social mask to work, hide the truth behind a false visade, then you are a deep fake. Your "fakeness" has been your armor and defense in a world that allowed you to exist because at least, in America, synthetic is accepted. Since the Me Too movement surfaced in 2006, we began to see transparency in American culture particularly in celebrity and political culture around sexual harassment. Movements expose truths and raise awareness of deepfakes. Jumping to the present time, the Epstein files exposed the worst criminal enterprise involving elites, political figures, and celebrities. The fall of deepfakes is likely going to continue to happe...

       Happy New Year! While we move into the new year, how are we feeling about ourselves and what do do we want to accomplish in 2026? If you sets goals to make improvements to your life this year, increasing self-confidence can help with that. According to Oxford dictionary, self-confidence is a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement. More importantly, self-confidence is acceptance of self. I pride myself on highlighting the importance of self-love in your life and there is a direct correlation between the two: self-love involves knowing and appreciating your worth which is the foundation for confidence to grow. There is a science behind uncovering ways to enhance self-confidence. There are the most conventional ways which include improving your habits, environment, and enhancing your positive self-talk. However, there are also more innovative (beyond the box) ways to boost your self-confidence this year. Note, that in order to grow, you must...

Today, I am going to give a brief tutorial on being "kind" vs. being "nice". I want people to consider the fact that being "nice" isn't good enough.  I grew up with knowing there is a huge difference between nice and being a kind person. Being, "Kind" is the ideal way to conduct yourself. To me, kindness is about connections; making positive connections with people with the idea of being genuine and thoughtful. Kindness involves vulnerability. However, some people have trouble with authenticity and being vulnerable. We live in a society of immediate gratification, fake people, insecurity, and false expectations and desires. People choose to align with what is easy instead of what is right! For this reason, people choose to be, "nice". Being "nice" is not enough. There is complexity to these terms. So let's talk about the differences between being, "nice" and "kind". Nice is a social mask that people...

  As of 2022, The Pew Research Center found 30% of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner, nor engaged in a committed relationship. Additionally, 1/2 of young adults inthe U.S. are single. What the?! Why be in a relationship when you can, “hookup” with no expectations.Let's talk about hookup culture! What is hookup culture? Is this a healthy dynamic? Why is hookup culture popular in today's society? Are there negative effects engaging in this behavior; Does this behavior negatively impact women? My original intention was to answer these questions, in an effort to talk about hookup culture as part of a series of educational videos/posts during Domestic Violence Awareness month to raise awareness about healthy relationships but, time ran out. However, we can still have an honest discussion  and continue the conversations about our current relationship climate that will help us understand the current trend of , "hooking up." I decided to talk about this t...

  Why do we say the phrase, "Hurt people, hurt people," when we hear conversations about people doing others wrong?  Why do we take comfort in assuming that the hurt was unintentional.  There are many phrases and sayings that I feel society needs to abandon because they no longer serve the well-being of humanity. Basically, letting go of ideals or old belief systems that no longer serve our highest and greatest good. There are numerous beliefs that our society holds onto with bloody fingernails because they are rooted in the foundations of our upbringing and environment. People resist change. People love comfort zones. Some people even avoid feelings. For this reason, and because growth offers opportunity; I want to abandon the phrase, “Hurt people, hurt people.” First of all, this is actually a quote by Will Bowen, “ Hurt people, hurt people. We are not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people.     But we should do so with compassion.” If the q...

*This post was written 6 months ago*  The global wellness market is valued at over 4.75 trillion (wellnesscreative.com 2022 statistics). There is a demand for self-improvement, homeopathic or alternative ways to achieve better health or mindset. Where there is a need, there are always people waiting to exploit people's desperation to look and feel better. I believe that most people have great intentions to help others achieve their highest potential; however, we have to be mindful of those that don't. I am not a consumer advocate but, if a sell is too good to be true and people promise you the world and total transformation, I'd run for the hills. That’s a huge indication of fraud. What concerns me about the wellness industry is that some of these organizations are cult-like and require you to be a part of a controlling following. At this point, your chances of becoming victimized either financially, emotionally, or physically becomes a given. My dear friend, who works for ...

 Hi everyone, I thought I'd take a brief moment and share some of my favorite YouTube yogis. I attribute a lot of my healing, growth and change to the practice of self-care. When I began my healing journey, I started to practice meditation and yoga. Both of these spiritual practices helped me remain grounded and focused which is important when your are healing emotional pain or trauma. I encourage you to consider and take a look at these YouTube yogis to help you on your journey to enlightenment. Check out the following YouTubers: 1. Ekhart Yoga- This was the very first channel that I visited and started to work with. Ekhart Yoga is a great channel for those new to yoga and meditation. I would consider this channel great for beginners. I learned the basic poses of yoga and began to learn about meditation and how to meditate.  https://www.youtube.com/c/Ekhartyoga 2. Yoga with Kassandra- If you are open to spirituality, this is the best channel for you. She is non evasive about ...

 Recently, I decided to start providing professional support to people that want to transform their lives through the practice of self-love. Throughout the years, I have worked with victims of violent crime, trauma survivors, and their families get through their victimization and the process of the criminal justice system. I have counseled thousands of people and realized that people are often conditioned to hold on to their trauma and pain. People hold on to pain out of fear or obligation. Because of this realization, I found that the practice of self-love is important to heal trauma and past pain. It is an ultimate act of self-love to begin the healing process with analyzing what is present in your life that keeps you from emotional fulfillment and peace. We all deserve peace, love and true happiness in our lives; we are worthy. Letting go of what doesn't serve you is not a "new age" phrase or a trend; it's common sense. What holds us back from emotional maturity, i...

 Have you ever asked yourself: Am I living my life to the fullest? Are there things about myself or life that I would like to change? These are all self-evaluation questions that are worthy of your attention; especially if you are feeling lack or uncertainty in your life. I definitely asked these questions a few years ago because, I was feeling very unfulfilled in my life and struggling to understand my place. Many times, as human beings living in the moment and as a coping mechanism, we put on a mask and pretend to be okay but hurting on the inside. Life requires balance and recognizing an imbalance is the beginning to discovering your full potential. Being the best version of yourself means being the authentic, "YOU." A trick to understanding your authentic self requires honesty about the things you are currently doing in your life that are creating unhappiness, uncertainty, negativity etc. You have to reflect on your shadow side (negative characteristics about your persona...

 Hi everyone. For years I’ve been sharing my healing journey, on my social media, and people ask me all the time if I provide professional consulting. Well, now I do. I feel compelled to set some time aside in 2022 to help people grow and develop because change is a beautiful thing. Check out my 90-day Empowerment Coaching Program and learn the tools that helped me develop and grow as a person. I utilize the seven pillars of self care as a guide to healthy change. My program is only available on Teachable.com. Look forward to working with you one on one. Peace, Love, and Happiness. The Victim Assistant https://va-s-empowerment-coaching.teachable.com/p/va-s-empowerment-coaching

I like to talk about my healing journey and offer support and hope to those that want to explore self love and healing trauma but don't know how. This post may not resonate for everyone but, I feel compelled to share my experience with healing generational trauma. As I sifted through my past and decisions, I can't help but feel like obligation and family expectations tainted my judgement. Do you feel that your family has unresolved trauma that is being passed down to generations? My answer to this question was yes. I have been on an emotional journey of healing and growth which has brought about many realizations and harsh truths about my ancestry. All my life, I have felt an inner knowing that I was made to stand out or for a big purpose; however, I never really felt supported or encouraged to growing up. I lacked stability and safety as a child. This inner knowing has sat with me all my life untapped. I started to ask myself the hard questions. When I first started to develop...

 In lieu of the R.Kelly trial, I have felt compelled to talk about victim blaming attitudes and belief systems as a debilitating cultural norm. I will specifically address violence against women in this post. Victim blaming occurs when a victim of crime is considered at fault or partially at fault for the harmful act against them. As a professional crime victim advocate, I have always felt it necessary to educate people about victimization and people's responses to crime to help mitigate the prejudice against victims and the perception from society that victims are some how responsible for the actions of  the violent offender. This happens a lot in sexual assault and domestic violence cases. We have witnessed, predominately in the R.Kelly trial, past and present, the perpetuation of rape culture and the normalized attitudes about gender and sexuality. Victim blaming, slut-shaming, minimizing rape and the denial of accountability of the offenders is the norm. Society bathes in ...

In my self-love journey, I have included exploring many ideals including vulnerability. Let's ask ourselves this question, "What does it mean to be vulnerable with another person?" In my experience, vulnerability is expressing your true self regardless of other's judgement. It's true bravery. Vulnerability seems to be the key to healthier interpersonal relationships. Vulnerability is difficult for some people because there is a level of honesty that is required and most often the struggle opening up your heart comes from fear; fear of judgement, the unknown, and ridicule. Fear is a valid emotion. Usually, we feel fear when we suspect danger ahead; however, fear derived from insecurity is no bueno. Trust in the other person is the secret sauce for opening up your soul. Trust is the confidence you place in someone to keep your thoughts and feelings private. Without trust, true intimacy in relationships cannot be achieved. For this reason, we see people struggle with...